Cutting Stones

Trekking Nepal. The title radiates from the cover of a book my father just sent to me. An ultimate gesture of faith. Because he still believes.

Loved ones ask why this bad thing happened to me. Different. Difficult. Daunting. But does that mean that it is all bad? It is up to me to decipher this and to discover where good might hide.

The pain was bad. Up until my latest surgeries of electrical implants and cauterized nerves, pain blindfolded me to a darkness I never thought could be. I had become someone else. Someone who's life weighed too much to carry on.

But with a lifting of the weight, my mind has cleared and I am left to view the remnants of who I used to be. I must now launch this next phase of healing with the challenge of creating a life more meaningful than before; to look at each piece of my life as diamonds un-earthed by the hands of God. Raw, unrecognizable rocks of black with a beauty just waiting to be revealed. So if God planted me in front of a diamond mine, and said it was all for me, would that be considered bad?

So the choice is up to me. To break the bad into a beauty just for God to see. To fracture the darkness and design a light like He has never seen. Why would God create a life with out the potential to cut such a stone?

I have many diamonds piled at my feet. But there was one I cut this week I thought I never would achieve. I sat in a movie with Don by my side, and Reggie asleep on my feet. The darkness soothed. The glow of imagination laid like a sheet upon my skin. Don's hand on my knee. My head resting on his shoulder. Swept away by make believe and more present than I could ever be. Because in that moment I was free.

Cutting stones is not easy. Each effort leaves my body weak. But my heart is left wanting more.

So I will read my book my father sent. Because he continues to believe - that just because my legs have failed for now, it doesn't mean I cannot cut the most magnificent stones that God has given me.

Comments

[Don Franklin]

Thank you for sharing yourself. I am so inspired by you. You have no idea how you have helped me get through this difficult period of my life. I'm so glad we met. There are no accidents.

[Fried Nerves and Jam]

Don, we are never ever alone. That's the most amazing part of all. :)