Day 24 Stem Cell Recovery - To Camp and Back

Day 24 of Stem Cell Transplant Recovery: We were able to make a last minute drive to surprise Emma Jane at camp! A month ago I could never in a million years even fathomed such an attempt. To get my body stabilized and managed enough to even get dressed would have taken the same amount of time as driving to the camp itself. I can't begin to find the words to express the overwhelming feeling of not just accomplishment, but JOY upon rolling into that game room and seeing her burst in the air toward us in tears and embracing me. It has been sitters, grandparents and Don making these moments happen in life, moments I only wished that I could do. FINALLY it's ME and to top it off I woke up this morning knowing that I could - Not laboring over pros and cons and if it was worth falling into the hell of a flare so deep I would cry myself to sleep.  

Today I was a passenger, although laying back with pillows and props, for a 2.5 hour drive there this morning and the same in the afternoon on our current return. We arrived at the camp and immediately spent time with a tour of her favorite things, then took her to lunch at a random place called Chad's BBQ Joint. We ate and played pool, I lost but in my heart I'd won. Upon returning her to camp we said goodbyes outside like the other moms and dads under trees - Not from the car where my station has so often been defined.  I was able to meet her friends from each of three summers past, Sophie, Yasmine and Tonya and CIT's she has spoken about for so long. I left knowing where my baby has been. I can see it now in my mind, not an illusion I created in mind, and it was more beautiful than it could ever be. For once in a very long time, six years it's been, I have the chance to be the Mom again. 

This was a lot today and we will see where I am at, at home. But whatever it is will be a celebration of coming so far to place I never want to leave. 

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